


He Can Hear You

by jenngracey



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender, klance - Fandom, laith - Fandom, vld - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-06-28 13:59:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15708648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenngracey/pseuds/jenngracey
Summary: After their battle with Sendak and the random death machine robot, the paladins are recovering from their injuries and heartache. They all seem to be doing ok, somewhat, but one paladin refuses to wake. One paladin tries to wake him even as he battles with his own demons. All is calm and the battle is won, but now its time to face reality as they try to rebuild earth after a long battle.Basically, Keith's in a coma, Lance is healing, they finally have the conversation we wanted season 7 to address.





	1. Talk to Him

**Author's Note:**

> This was written post season 7 of voltron legendary defenders. Before anything was confirmed endgame or the show ended. Trying to deal with all the emotions I am feeling without interference of the fandom.

It was all over. Sendak was gone, the galra were defeated and earth had been saved, for now. Despite these facts, Lance found himself again, replaying the events of their last battle, trapped in his own mind as he tried to cope with everything he had been through. He knew he was having another nightmare. In this one, he was facing the galra ship again, accepting his impending death. He could hear the others shout his name. Allura calling out for him to get out of the way, Pidge and Hunk screaming for him to move, and Keith. Keith’s voice was the sound that sent a chill down Lance’s spine. The awful panic in Keith’s voice in his desperate attempts to reach him. Calling his name over and over again. Commanding him not to accept death just yet. And in his dream, Lance opened his eyes at that sound and knew Red would come any minute to save him, and he would live to fight another day.

But this was a dream.

A nightmare at that.

When Lance realized his lion was not going to come and the galra ship was nearly inches away, Lance gasped for air, jolting awake and winced in pain as he rolled onto his side. Three broken ribs, numerous bruises and scratches and his good hand damaged from gripping onto Red’s stick too hard during their fight with the hellsent lotorbot 2.0. Lance looked out to the window in the Garrison medical quarters to see the rebuilding of the damage from their fight. He slowly came to his senses and realized he had actually survived that encounter with the galra fighter, fought alongside in voltron, and then nothing. It was all bright and Lance thought for sure he had died for a second time. He wondered if everyone else was in just as much pain as he felt in his chest.

Panic suddenly struck him. What happened to the _others_? Was he the only one to survive? No. Grabbing the IV pole as his support, he made himself stand from his bedside to search for the others. A nurse immediately walked in at the sound of all the alarms going off and urged him to lay down. He refused and demanded to know the fate of his teammates.

“You all were such brave cadets,” The nurse started and went down the list of the paladins one by one not breaking eye contact with the former blue paladin once. She was a younger medical officer with curly brown hair and dark eyes like the void of space. If he wasn’t in the shape he was in, he’d have probably said something about being lost in her eyes, because he was. He was so lost and everything was hazy either from all the drugs in his system as his brain tried to process everything he had just experienced. She listed them off one by one.

“Katie Holt suffered minor bruising and scratching. Last I heard, her brother came in from space and was visiting her.”

 _Good. Matt finally made it home_ , he thought.

“Cadet Hunk come out with a slight concussion and a sprained arm, but is up and about, eating every earth food the Garrison will allow him to.

 _Of course he would_. Lance smiled softly, he deserved it after eating space goo and alien fungus for years.

“The altean Allura only suffered a sprained forearm but is healing quickly…”

 _I have to send her flowers later,_ thought Lance, _it’d be a nice surprise._

“Cadet Keith Kogane…”

  
The nurse paused and for once looked away for a brief moment.

 _No_. He thought, _please no_.

  
“... has yet to wake up.”

With those words, tears fell into his lap. He couldn’t feel his body or hear the rest of what the nurse told him. It was all muffled and cloudy.

 _Why_. He thought, _why not me?_

Keith was the leader, the head of voltron. A pain in his ass and stubborn as hell? Absolutely. A closed off emo kid, no doubt, but he was _Keith_. He was the cool one who could survive anything. He is the future. He was our future. He was supposed to be my future.

Lance must have spoken the last words out loud since the nurse stopped and placed a hand over his bandaged hand,

“Were you two close?”

“Yeah”, Lance responded flatly, “He was my buddy.”

The nurse sighed and gently squeezed Lance’s hand as she knelt down to meet his sad drooping face. Lance thought he must have looked so pathetic to her. A warrior, one who did all the cool space exploration stuff every cadet dreams of and more, fought an alien race that enslaved billions of others, got lost in space with his team for god knows how long, defeated the enemy in a giant warship and outran death, now twice, had become so broken in a matter of moments. All at the sound of a few words. He heard a voice call his name again and with his thoughts and anxieties screaming in his head, had to be shaken a bit to break him out of his trance. The nurse had to repeat her ask several times before Lance realized what she was trying to ask him.

“Would you like to visit him?”

The question threw Lance off, he could go see him? What good would that do? With all the questions swimming in his head, he immediately nodded. He had to go see for himself, he had to know Keith was going to be ok. He was guided into a wheelchair as the nurse wheeled him around to the room next door.  This brought him back to the time in the castle of lions, back before Keith left to the Blades, when he stood outside the door, hesitant to even knock.

“Are you ready?”

Lance froze, just like he did back then and could feel the ache in his chest weighing down on him as he prepared himself for what he was about to see. In a sense, Lance imagined Keith to be sitting up in his bed, looking out the window, maybe reading a book, with his stupid mullet hair messier than ever, bandaged and bruised, to turn and look at him with his violet eyes and share that stupidly sweet smile at the sight of him. When the door opened however, all Lance could see was a bandaged head, closed eyes and ever so slight breathing. The monitors showed a beating heart and stable vitals, but still, Lance could feel himself become numb at the sight of his best friend not moving, not even reacting to his surroundings. The nurse put a hand to his shoulder and gave it a gently squeeze again. She wheeled him to the side of the black paladin’s bed and stepped away to give them space. Just before she walked out the door, she turned back to face the distraught boy,

“Talk to him.”

Again, Lance could not hear her. Still staring at this young man who had annoyed him to his core all those years in the Garrison. He thought about all the times they spent together. Those times seemed like forever ago yet they all felt like they had just happened in a manner of days rather than years. Those days when they got trapped in space when he started to develop a mutual respect, no admiration, for him. When he chose to leave him with a distraught team and a clone, and then come back to him, only to get hurt before they could enjoy their time on earth for a bit...To see him hurt again...

“Lance, Cadet McClain.”

At the command of a medical officer, Lance snapped his head out of reflex to meet the nurse with his azure eyes swelled in tears.

“Talk to him, he can still hear you.”

Lance nodded and looked at Keith’s tired face as the nurse slowly closed the door. He put his hand over Keiths and tucked away his messy locks behind his ears. Lance wanted Keith to hear what his sharpshooter had to say, though Lance himself wasn’t sure what he would say next would be worth hearing.

What was he supposed to tell him? He didn’t even know where to begin. Should he start with a joke, his usual greeting, or maybe a tease and banter like they always did, they were rivals after all. No, maybe he should apologize. He never did talk to him about all the ugly things he said while they floated aimlessly in space. Maybe he should ask him a question. Maybe if he annoyed him with enough questions, Keith would wake up from his coma to tell him to shut his quiznak. Now that imagery made him chuckle. If they weren’t in such horrible states, that could have worked, but for once in his life Lance found himself at a loss for words. No matter how he started this one sided conversation, no one would be there to poke or sass him with a snarky comeback. This wasn’t them stuck in a castle of lions anymore. They were back on earth, recovering, healing from broken bones and bruises and fighting to awake from a coma. Lance sighed at this realization and opened his mouth not sure where it would lead them.

“Hi Keith, its your buddy, Lance here...hey I know you’re sleeping and stuff, but I gotta say, even if you woke up now, you’d be the embodiment of Beyonce’s “I woke up like this”....haha, wow that was bad. I thought that horrible pick up line would wake you up for sure...haha, I guess I am the dumb one...dumb to think you would even respond to that after everything we’ve been through. yeah even after all the shit, I still manage to come up with the cheesiest pick up lines..haha so sorry you have to hear this trainwreck...

“Gosh, where even are you right now? Please don’t tell me you got trapped in the black lion’s conscious. We can’t go through that again. Plus, I don’t think we’d be able to get you out. Shiro sure as hell isn’t going back into that astral realm.

...

“Keith, buddy, come on. This is the part where you make some comment about how black wouldn’t even let that happen because she only stanned you cuz it was actually Shiro. Nah, you’d probably say something way cooler. See? this is why I’m bad at this one-sided banter. I need my buddy, my man, my space ranger partner, come on.

“Keith, I still don’t get why you didn’t give your wolf a name after being stuck on some space whale for two years. Like what did you do to call out to him if he got lost exploring the space whale? How did he know you were calling out to him? And I can’t believe you would think the wolf would tell you his name. Like I know he’s all cosmic and fell from the sky like a shooting star and can teleport and stuff, but how would he be able to tell you his name? Can he mind read too? Because that’s a very important detail you failed to mention! What the hell man.

“Keith, are you mad at me? Is that why you refuse to wake up from your little coma? I get it. I wouldn’t want to wake up either.

Look, I never got to apologize to you after we left the void of space. We were all so sleep deprived and losing hope. We all said some hurtful things, some things we should have talked about, but how could we when we were in the middle of a fucking war? Well, since you won’t answer me, I guess this is the perfect time to tell you this.”

Lance paused and then took a deep breath.

“I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you after you left.  
The weight he had been carrying around slowly started to dissolve.

“I didn’t realize how much it hurt me when you started to pull away. We were so good together, Lance and Keith, neck in neck, back to back, and then you just got up and left.

The painful memory made him wince in pain from his broken ribs.

“I know you felt you weren’t capable of leading us back then, but I knew you could. I had put every ounce of faith into you, because, because, Keith you’re the future. You’re pragmatic, logical, and stoic. You’re also one hell of a hot head, but that’s only one part of you, the rest out way that small detail. You didn’t have to go out there to prove yourself. You were already worthy.

Lance thought of all those times they spent flying and training at the Garrison and with Voltron. Keith was always so serious and focused. Lance wished he could get inside his mind and wondered what in the world was going through his head. He never knew with Keith.

“You ran away and left us. You left me and I had to pick up the pieces.

A flash of Keith in his blades outfit turning his back and leaving the castle of lions waved in his mind. The wound still fresh from that day.

“Ugh, this wasn’t supposed to be me reprimanding you but I’m just so...whatever it doesn’t even matter. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that you don’t have to be alone in all this. I know you felt a lot of pressure from us and us relying on you made you shy away, but I was there, Keith.

His chest felt heavy again.

“I am always going to be there for you. I’m your buddy, you’re right hand, I…”

Lance hesitated again and felt his mouth start to dry up.

“Keith, please wake up.” he pleaded as he felt hot tears hit the tops of his hands. What was he supposed to do? What if Keith never woke up? How could he ever tell him, what he was trying to say? All the emotions were swelling and spinning inside his head and he could feel himself get nauseous. He couldn’t imagine a life without Keith in it. He didn’t want to imagine a life without him. They were too close. They were bonded to each other just as much as each paladin was bonded to their lions. This was all too much for Lance, and he immediately regretted coming to visit Keith while he was still asleep. The nurse said he could still him, but could his words reach him and pull him out of his coma? He wished he knew. There was a knock at the door and Lance quickly wiped away his tears and let go of Keith’s hand. The nurse poked her head into the doorway.

“Cadet McClain, some visitors are here to see Keith. You can stay in here if you-”  
“Can you please take me back to my room?”

The nurse closed her eyes and nodded and opened the door to reveal Krolia and Kolivan standing at the doorway, brooding and cool in their Blade of Marmora aura. Lance tried to avoid eye contact with them, but knew it was inevitable and found himself staring at Keith who was the spitting human image of Krolia. Krolia had the same soft smile that Keith shared with him so many times and Lance could feel the weight on his chest again and the tears returning to his eyes.

“I can wheel him, he’s just in the room next door right?”

Lance froze and wondered why the seven foot purple alien warrior would want to wheel him around.

“Lance, would you be ok if Krolia returned to you to your room?”

“...sure”

Krolia smiled again and took the red paladin out of the room as Kolivan gave a nod towards Lance. Krolia started pushing Lance in the direction of his room but completely passed it.

“Krolia, can you turn back, my room was right there-”  
“Paladin, I would like to speak with you for some time.”  
“Guess I don’t have a choice.”

At that comment, Krolia swerved Lance around and bent down to meet his eyesight.

“Keith was right, you do have a smart mouth.”

Lance blushed slightly at the thought of Keith even mentioning him to his mother. They did spend 2 YEARS on a space whale together. Keith must have spoken about the Paladins now and then.

“Lance, I need you to know, Keith was so proud of you for stepping up while he was gone. He won’t admit it but he really values your skills and connection with the other paladins.”

Lance was shocked. Keith never told him this. Focus on the mission. That was the mantra they lived by, not this bullshit. That was only reserved for Lance’s daydreaming and private thoughts...

“While we stuck on the space whales for those two years. We learned a lot about each other. We saw a lot of each other’s memories. You and him seemed like such good friends.”

Lance chuckled at this and winced at his broken ribs.

“Yeah, didn’t start out like that though.”  
“Yes I saw that too. Rivals was it?”

Yes rivals. From their days at the garrison battling for the higher scores in the simulators. Keith had always gotten the highest marks and Lance would just barely make the cut each time. At their final exam to determine fighter class from cargo, Lance had missed the qualification mark by less than a point. He remembered being so distraught and seeing the name of ‘Keith’ at the top, again, made him jealous to the core. From then on he had vowed to beat him at everything he could.  
The memories all seemed so trivial compared to the months and years that followed the fighter pilot exam. They had come such a long way from back then. Grown so much and put so much trust in each other. Lance never thought of how he would grow to enjoy the hothead’s presence around him. Now he yearned for anything from Keith. Yes, it all seemed trivial.

“But despite your disagreements, you two were able to overcome such great odds not only with Voltron and the other paladins, but with each other. The bond you two share is something special.”

Krolia looked away quickly but then met Lance eyes with a familiar ferocity that he had come to know with Keith when he got extra serious about something. Lance tried to look away but couldn’t help but feel Keith was speaking directly to him.

“He won’t tell you this...”she paused, “but I think he needs you just as much as you need him.”

Lance felt tears drop down his face again. They were becoming a nuisance. How could she say that? How could that even be true after Keith abandoned them? Lance squinted his eyes in disbelief but then softened at Krolia’s reassuring smile. She wouldn’t lie to him. She saw through his eyes all the memories he had. She must of seen what Lance had seen, and maybe even felt what Keith had felt in those moments. Lance softened his eyes and looked down grabbing his sides as he felt his emotions pouring out. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to meet the yellow violet eyes so unusual yet so familiar.

“Do not worry red paladin. Keith is a strong person. Both physically and mentally, I know you know that. He’ll awake soon. He just needs some time.”

Lance blinked and tears were gushing like tiny waterfalls. He covered his eyes to shield them, but found himself in an embrace from his adopted space mom. She held him tight as she whispered into his ear.

“I know he heard you.”

Lance gasped and held on tighter. He hoped his words had reached Keith, wherever he was. Krolia carefully let go and grabbed the rails to return Lance to his room. His family had been waiting anxiously for him and he brightened the minute he saw his mom and dad and niece and nephew and brothers and sisters. He had to be brave for them, he had to put up his front for them, this was no time to sulk about his friend. He would just have to be patient, until Keith finally decided to wake up.


	2. Open your eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith doesn't know what's going on. He thinks he's in some alternate universe or stuck in a coma. He's having some trippy visions and thinks he's losing it, until he hears a familiar voice call out to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've heard of langst? I introduce to you Kogangst. 
> 
> hahah enjoy

He was dreaming again. He could feel himself losing control of his surroundings. One minute he was fighting off the Druid again and teleporting with Kosmo, the next he found himself stuck in the Astral Plane, lost in the consciousness of the black lion. Shiro would be there, mouthing a response he couldn’t comprehend and motioning for Keith to come forward. He knew this was all a dream. He had been having the same series of scenes playing over and over again like everything was stuck on repeat, like his mind was a broken record. He would fight Shiro here, again, he would see himself die here, again, here he would catch a last glimpse of a red and blue star shining above him before he looped back to the beginning, to the same series of memories, to do it all over again.

What did it all mean? Why couldn’t he wake up? Why was he stuck in this time loop?

He remembered everything clearly from before. The journey home, the return to earth, the endless battle, and the last flash before he ended up here. Wherever ‘here’ was. After the first series of scenes, he thought he was dead. The third time, he thought he might be stuck in some other dimension again, but after the 25th time of seeing the same scene play again and again and again, he realized something was not right.

If he was dead, shouldn’t he just see all his life flash before his eyes ONCE prior to the sweet release into nothingness? That was supposed to be his reward. Sweet, sweet, death. Unless this was him dying.

Get on with it.

The thought echoed around him as he laid in the pool of stars and clouds.

Around this time is when another peaceful moment would turn sour. He waited for the scene to turn malicious. In fact, he could countdown to the exact moment when Shiro would lung toward him, hand raised ready to strike. And Keith wouldn’t move, he would be frozen and he would die, to do it all over again.

3..2..1..  
….  
….  
….  
Nothing. He sat up and saw the phantom of his brother slowly fade away. This was new. He tried calling out to Shiro but the only sound he heard was his thoughts bouncing back and forth as the projected stars combusted and twinkled in the sky. Sounds from memories, from nightmares, and others he couldn’t recognize shot back and forth like returning gunfire. He concluded he must have been in a deep sleep. It was the only explanation for his situation. Or he could be stuck in an alternate reality. Lance told him about those before. Unbelievable, yet totally possible. He laid back down, spread eagle on the water and looked up wondering what was going to happen next. Maybe his thoughts would consume him, and he could float down beneath the pool he was miraculously laying above. He couldn’t drown, maybe he could. Maybe he would just wait until the next thing would come to destroy him. Maybe if he wouldn’t fight back, he’d finally be free.

That’s when he heard it.

" _Keith_ ".

The sound faintly echoed around him.

_"Keith, Keith, it’s me…"_

He knew the voice, he knew the name of the person calling out to him but couldn’t say or think it.  
Who goes there?

" _It’s your buddy, Lance…_ "

"Lance? No way. what are you doing here…?"

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Keith had been stuck in this loop alone for god knows how long, and now he was hearing new voices. His mind must be playing tricks on him. Reaching into the depths of his conscious and pulling out what it could, just so he could stay sane. It was either that, or the alternate reality was quiznaking with him.

_"….you’d be the embodiment of Beyonce….wow …... I thought ….. would wake you ...I guess I am the dumb one…"_

"Lance what are you talking about? What does Beyonce have to do with anything? You’re so random. And you’re not dumb!! I told you that guy was a jerk."

_"…. I still manage to come up with the cheesiest pick up lines..haha so sorry you have to hear this train wreck…_

"It’s not like I’m going anywhere. Plus, they’re not all that bad."

_"….where even are you right now?"_

"I think in the consciousness of the black lion, either that or I’m dead."

_"….I don’t think we’d be able to get you out and Shiro sure as hell isn’t going back…"_

"Then I’m fucked."

“ _Keith, buddy, come on. ..you ….how black wouldn’t even…. happen because ...was actually Shiro…_

"You’re saying I only got here because of my brother? What a dick."

Lance’s voice would come in waves. Crashing words that hit Keith all at once, or words receding into echos, deeper into the consciousness becoming lost in the void.

_"Nah, ….something way cooler. See? this is why ….. bad at …. banter. I need …. my man, my space...partner"_

"Lance you’re more than capable of good banter. You’re the only one who knows exactly how to get under my skin, Keith sighed, "But yeah I miss arguing with you too..."

_“Keith,...why you didn’t give your wolf a name ….what did you...call ... him if ….lost? How did he know …...you would ...he wolf …. tell …..name. …..cosmic...fell…. like a shooting star and can teleport and stuff, but how would he be able to tell you his name?"_

"Lance he’s a space wolf, I just know."

" _Can he mind read too? Because that’s a very important detail you failed to mention! What the hell man."_

"Yeah, he’s totally communicating with me right now. He keeps calling me a whiny bitch."

Keith wondered if Lance could even hear him answer. He might have laughed at that one, or shot something back just as sharp. He wondered if he was actually hearing the real Lance speak to him and not some ghost tormenting his mind. It wouldn’t be the first time...

_"Keith, are you mad at me?"_

The question echoed in his mind. He had no time to be angry after everything that happened. He didn’t even know what was happening to him, where he was or if he’d get back.This was not the time to be angry at anyone. Especially at Lance.

_"…..refuse to wake up from your little coma? I get it. I wouldn’t want to wake up either."_

"So I am in a coma. Fucking great."

_"Look, I never got to apologize to you after we left...We were...losing hope. We all said -hurtful things, some things we should have talked about, but how could we when we were in the middle of a fucking war?"_

"Lance, I get it. You don’t have to apologize. We were all stressed-"

_"-I guess this is the perfect time to tell you this."_

"Tell me what?"

And in that moment, the quintessence of the former blue paladin materialized in the astral plane, and standing above Keith on the opposite end of the pool was the one person he had been dying to see. The light of the blue star shone down on him as it sparkled and flickered a cerulean tint around the suave sharpshooter of voltron. The red star shined brightly, not to be outdone by its cold counterpart. The colors of the red and blue stars spread around them and mixed to make the pool a faint purple hue. Keith looked up in disbelief and stared at this new version of Lance. One with pained eyes, a tired voice, accented with a soft smile. A smile Keith had come to love seeing over the years.

_“I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you after you left. I didn’t realize how much it hurt me when you started to pull away."_

"I’m sorry I ran away Lance."

Keith stood up to meet his friend at eye level. They were finally equal at something. Keith wasn’t going to run away anymore, it was time for him to meet Lance halfway.

"I’m sorry I hurt you, it was the last thing I wanted to do."

_"We were so good together, Lance and Keith, neck in neck, back to back, and then you just got up and left. I know you felt you weren’t capable of leading us back then, but I knew you could. I had put every ounce of faith into you"_

"I thought I was going to let everyone down. I wasn’t the right leader for voltron. I couldn’t bring them together, I was tearing everyone apart."

_"Keith you’re ...pragmatic, logical, and stoic. You’re also one hell of a hot head, but that’s only one part of you, the rest out way that small detail. You didn’t have to go out there to prove yourself. You were already worthy."_

"I know that now. I had to figure that out for myself though."

_"But you ran away and left us. You left me and I had to pick up the pieces."_

The words stung like quintessence. The reality Keith had to face was not how the situation had affected him, but how it all came crashing down on the shoulders of his right hand. A familiar pain resurfaced in his chest. It was the same pain he felt when he saw past visions in the quantum abyss. It was the same pain he felt when Kuron had him pinned down with a blade under his chin. It was the same pain he felt when the red paladin screamed in agony and was unresponsive for what seemed like an eternity. Lance was the person he cared for the most. Though he could be irritating and goofy and headstrong, he kept them all together. He was levelheaded and cool under the crushing pressure of the universe. Of all the paladins, Keith trusted Lance to understand why he left.

"Lance, I left to protect the team, to protect you. You all mean so much more to me than anything in the entire universe. If I could prevent something from happening before it happened, so that you could have a chance to get back, I’d do it a thousand times over. But, you have every right to be angry with me..."

_"Ugh, this wasn’t supposed to be me reprimanding you but I’m just so...whatever it doesn’t even matter. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that you don’t have to be alone in all this. I know you felt a lot of pressure from us and us relying on you made you shy away, but I was there, Keith. I am always going to be there for you. I’m your buddy, you’re right hand, I…”_

"Lance,"

He pleaded as he saw the light start to fade.

**"Lance!!"**

Keith started to reach out to him to grab him by the shoulders and tell him everything. He wasn’t going to lose Lance again. He wasn’t going to run away anymore. Keith desperately tried to grab onto the mirage before him, as if it were the real Lance. Deep down he knew it wasn’t him, but he needed to hold onto him. Lance’s words were the only thing that could keep him grounded, keep him stable in this fucked up coma version of the astral plane. And now he was fading away, leaving him, just like Keith left the team. This was all a sick nightmare.

_"Keith, please wake up."_

Keith lunged forward, arms outstretched, and fell face first into black water. He screamed in anger over what had just happened. Lance was there and then he wasn’t. Lance was walls down, vulnerable and exposed to Keith, and for once Keith felt he was opening up to him. He felt safe with Lance there. For a hot minute, Keith felt he could get through the visions and follow Lance’s voice out of the coma. But just as soon as Lance had appeared before him, so too had he left. Keith was losing it and held his head trying to make sense of it all.

**WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP YOU STUPID FUCK!**

_WAKE UP….waKE UP...wake UP….wake up..._

The words swung back and forth like a pendulum, smacking him every time they came hurling back reminding him of the reality of his situation. He had been trying for days to wake up with no avail. He couldn’t yield himself awake, he couldn’t shock himself awake, he was just stuck. He was ALWAYS stuck. No matter what he'd been through, at his core he boiled down to the same stuck individual. He still felt like that orphan kid with an anger issue. He would always be that kid, going to space didn’t change that. Becoming a paladin of Voltron didn’t change that, hell, even leaving Voltron and getting stuck in space then finally defeating the Galra couldn’t change that. All these parts of him were part of his story. He couldn’t change them. He huddled himself into a ball and for once let tears stream down his eyes. No one could see him, he was stuck in the prison of his mind.

Then he heard knocking.

He brought his head up and found himself back in the castle of lions, in his old room, sitting on top of his bed. There was a knock again.

_"Keith? It’s Lance open up!"_

"What the quiznak?"

Then Lance was there, walking through his door, still wearing that same cool green jacket, with that worried expression perpetually painted across his face, with those sharp eyes searching Keith’s for answers.

"I don’t understand."

_"I was hoping I could come talk to you since you’re the leader of voltron and all."_

"Lance how are we back here the Castle was destroyed!"

_"So I was doing some math-"_

"Lance stop."

_"-Allura has been progressing so much faster than any of us."_

"Lance please."

_"Thanks man."_

"Lance wait!" And Keith ran through the doors after Lance. He ran down the hall calling out for him to return.

"LANCE!"

He thought he could follow this boy and maybe just maybe he'd find his way out. This was not the case. Before he knew it, he was back at the castle’s main ship admiring the balmeran crystal in its pinkish-purple hue. He looked around confused and then looked down to see Lance badly beaten and hurt. He immediately swooped down and grabbed his hand. Worry filled his chest and that reoccurring pain struck him again.

"Lance, are you ok?!"

_"We did it. We ARE a good team."_

Warmth returned to him as Keith reached forward to embrace Lance, still holding onto his hand. He expected to feel the warmth of his teammate immediately, but soon found himself at the hangars of the Garrison. it was dark and musty but he could clearly see someone at the cruisers. He could see a familiarly scene formulate before him, one that he was sure he didn't want to recall. He could see Allura walking towards a lanky figure with a shy smile and a nervous skip in her step. He remember seeing something similar in the quantum abyss and he knew exactly what was about happen. Though he knew the outcome of it all, he couldn't close his eyes to shield himself. His eyes glued to the two paladins as they drew closer to each other. Allura touched the shoulder of the lanky figure and embraced him in a hug. They pulled away slowly and with shy smiles, became enveloped in a kiss.

That did it for Keith. He needed to get out of here. He didn’t know how much more he could take. He pulled out his knife and looked down at his shaking hand. He hadn’t tried this before, but it was his only option. He gathered what little courage he had left to lift the blade high. He swung it down and braced for impact only to feel a hand stop his hand.

"KEITH **STOP**!"

"WHY SHOULD I?!"

And there he was again, same worried look, same pained eyes, same warmth. How much more could he take? Keith felt such sadness and emptiness as he looked into the azure eyes of his best friend.

"I need to get out. I can’t keep seeing this again."

_""I know, that’s why I’m here. I told you I’m always going to be here for you. Now I need you to trust me."_

"Lance I trust you with my life."

" _Come on team leader, let’s get out of here!_ "

And with that, the red and blue stars shone bright above them again, with a light so blinding, Keith could not see the path. LAnce grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight reassuring him this was the right way to go.

 _"Close your eyes"_ , Lance spoke softly, and don’t open until I tell you to."

"Ok."

Keith closed his eyes and felt his body start to ascend from the plane. He didn’t see visions of old memories or old nightmares. All he felt was the warmth of Lance’s hand guiding him. The minute he woke up, he swore he wasn’t going to run away anymore. Lance had been there for him, always by his side. He would never desert him again.

" _Ok Keith, time to open your eyes."_

And this time he did. He squinted at the sunlight coming in from the window of the garrison medical unit. His head felt groggy like he was coming up from deep waters. His breathing felt heavy as he slowly started to gather where he was at. He looked around to find his mom sitting at the foot of his bed, proudly smiling at her son for a job well done.

"Mom?"

"Hi Keith, welcome back."

"Mom where-where"

"You’re in the Garrison medical unit. You’ve been in a coma for about a week."

"No, I know he told me. Mom, where is, where is Lance?"

"The red paladin came to visit you a while ago", Kolivan answered. Keith hadn’t even noticed him sitting by the window seal.

"Mom, I need to go see him. I need to see Lance-" Keith tried to get up but winced in pain.

"Slow down Keith. You suffered multiple injuries. You’re not going anywhere until we get a doctor in here."

"But mom, I have-"

"You’ll see your paladin soon enough. I promise. You just have to be patient and let your body heal."

Krolia smiled at her son fondly as Keith sighed in defeat and laid back down. Knowing he would be stuck in his room for a while, he turned his head to see the Garrison start rebuilding after the destruction of Sendak. After all they had been through, all the ruins and pain and damage, there was hope. It would take time to rebuild the earth back to where it was, and it would take time for its people to recover too, but they would get there, just like Keith would. They all would just have to be patient.


	3. Making Excuses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ehhh the title is pretty self explanatory. 
> 
> told from Lance's point of view mostly...

It had been a few days since Lance last visited Keith. News of the awakening of the sleeping black paladin traveled quickly around the Garrison. Doctors were running numerous tests and nurses were going in and out of his room every other varga. Lance had been informed by a nurse the minute Keith woke up. She claimed he opened his eyes shortly after he left his room. That was a gross rumor and seemed too good to be true. Though, he had to admit, the news brought him comfort for a time.

_ Guess he did listen to me. _

The peace he felt knowing his best friend would live, made a smile stretch across his face. It was relief, he thought. Keith was going to be ok and they could all move forward. His family noticed the shift in mood the following days, and didn’t question what was behind it. They finally saw their bubbling boy, now a soaring spaceman, happy again. In fact, he was the happiest they had ever seen him. They thought his ribs would never heal if he kept laughing so much. Yes, everything was back on track and moving along. All was thought to be at peace, even Lance thought his worry could finally be laid to rest, until a new fear grew at the pit of his belly. It wasn’t a fear of death or a fear of abandonment, no, not any of the usual anxieties.

He didn’t understand why though. Keith was fine! What did he have to worry about? He wasn’t like this with Hunk or Pidge, not even with Allura! He didn’t feel the slightest bit of nerves when he had gone by to visit her with lilies and a badly drawn handmade card. Lance bet Keith couldn’t draw a better version. Ah, there was that feeling again...it felt like a small wormhole had formed in his stomach and was pulling every happy thought into empty space. He was fine though! Totally fine.

All the paladins, the able bodied ones, took turns visiting each other’s room, sharing scars and bruises and comparing injuries. They all laughed and they cried, but this was ok. They were all healing and finally back home safe. Yes, with everyone else, Lance was fine, but even with his fellow paladins sharing excitement of the waking of their friend, Lance couldn’t bring himself to go and see Keith. Everything was healing and recovering too fast. It was all going too fast. Ah, he finally realized what new emotion he was feeling. This was cowardice.

So there was more damage done than he originally thought. He was still recovering from his injuries. Not just physically and mentally, but now emotionally. The doctors said he was healing fine physically and his mentality would take time to heal. Being the right hand of voltron, he sustained a bit more injuries than the others, in more ways than everyone originally thought. He still had to let himself heal fully. This was a good excuse.

Although he was doing well physically, he wasn’t completely autonomous yet. He was still having to be wheeled in and out of everywhere. Yes, that was another good excuse, he didn’t want to be a burden to others. It was a hassle already to try to get him out of bed. Why make others do all that work just to have them wheel him to the room next door? It was a waste. He had to be able to get up on his own before he went next door.

His family being there was another good excuse. They were taking shifts round the clock to ensure their Lance wasn’t left alone. With his family there, how could he sneak away to see Keith again? He was alive and awake, and Lance had missed his family so much all those years they were stuck in space. He figured Keith could wait. He had made him wait all that time when he went off with the Blades.

He wished the healing pods were still there. It sucked having to heal the old fashion way. At least in the healing pods he was in complete isolation, healing himself with miraculous Altean sciencey magic. But the more he thought about it, his room became like a healing pod to him. There, he was safe from the universe. He had earned his time to rest and he was going to milk every minute of it. He decided wasn’t going to leave his makeshift pod until he was completely healed. That is, unless the nurses forced him to go outside. He must have spoken out loud again, because the minute the thought crossed his mind, or left his mind in this case, a nurse came to take him outside. He thought about making some excuse, but he really couldn’t refuse. He HAD been lying in his hospital bed for over a week now, and he WAS tired of staring at the neutral colored walls. There was no room for excuses this time. He had to get up and start moving again. He wanted to stay in his pod longer though. Lance thought that maybe if he stayed in his makeshift pod long enough it would heal the cowardness he felt in his heart. Maybe then he could face Keith after spilling everything to him.

It’s not like he heard him though.

Lance winced in pain from his ribs and whined as the nurse helped him out of his bed into the wheelchair. She claimed he needed to start walking again. Man, she was starting to sound like Veronica. Annoying, but right. The only way he was going to get over this was to get up and move on. It was time he got out of his pod.

As they rode through the long winding tunnels of the Garrison, Lance was greeted by old classmates and professors and a lot of people he didn’t know. Many cadets admired the paladins, they had lived out fantasies they could never dream of. Normally, he would have loved all the attention he was receiving. Girls were sneaking glances and small gasps every time he passed by them. He would have enjoyed this so much, but everytime Lance tried to put up usually cool and collected mask, the unwanted feeling grew deeper in his abdomen. He wished he could tell them it was all fun and adventurous and not full of growing pains and baggage, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t going to burden others with his problems. This was the weight he would have to carry with him. No one could know about it. No one would be able to understand it. Well, that was a lie. He knew one person who could truly understand it, but he was still too scared to face him.

They wheeled and spun and turned into every crevice and hallway around the Garrison. Lance was starting to think he was going to fall asleep before they made it outside. When they reached a darker part of a narrow hallway, Lance felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. It could have been a fight or flight response he was experiencing. There were countless times something was trying to kill them in space and this had become a natural reaction for him. He thought he wouldn’t have to worry about that when he finally returned home. The nurse immediately brought the wheelchair to a halt, and Lance wished he still had his bayard with him. She must have heard him breathing heavy for she mumbled something about him needing to calm down. He couldn’t hear it though, his heart was racing too fast and thumping furiously in his eardrums.

 

The sound of the steel handle being slammed open made him jump and shield himself. He wished he had stayed in the healing pod. 

 

When he felt the warmth of the sun rush against his skin, he slowly lowered his arms and squinted at the piercing light that suddenly flooded the hall. The rays of light he felt put his mind at ease as the nurse wheeled him out the door into the greenbelt of the Garrison. Oh the greenbelt, he had heard about this from other cadets before they disappeared in the blue lion. It was the one spot where you could see a color other than rust or grey. It was so green and vibrant in this small patch of plot where they had been conducting botany research for deep space food crops. Hunk and Pidge would have loved it here. This really was a treat. As he was wheeled down the ramp an ease washed over him. He got lost in the greenery surrounding him and he wondered if this place had any weird creatures lurking that could shrink him again. When the nurse finally brought the chair to a halt, Lance looked over at the open area enclosed by glass to see the rebuilding of the Garrison’s defenses. Red and Black had made considerable damage on the flying decks and he saw the engineers working diligently to repair the large crevices and remnants of their last battle.He thought it must have been a nice view when things were normal.

The nurse’s muffled voice returned to Lance’s hazy thoughts. Her voice couldn’t get through the cloud around him though. He didn’t care to listen anymore and just nodded in response, hoping she would stop talking and leave him alone to wallow in his thoughts. Instead, he heard another noise of clanking metal and rubber approaching the top of the ramp. He turned his head only to freeze at the immediate sight of a bandaged head and some serious bedhead. He gripped the sides of the handles and felt the same ugly feeling return to his gut.

Was this supposed to be some fucking joke? How dare they try to force this interaction with two recovering heroes! He would not let them get away with this. He immediately started to fidget with his wheels despite the pleas from the nurses for him to remain in his seat. He was trying to find the release brake to roll himself away.

Stupid high tech Garrison tech. How the hell was he supposed to find that dumb break when everything was designed to be aerodynamic and efficient? This wasn’t efficient at all! How was he-

“It’s the orange button on the left side”

Lance paused and then shot his head in the direction of the disturbance.

“What?” he huffed from frustration.

“The release break”, Keith said knowingly, “You push that button and that will release the break.”

“How did you-?”

“I found it by accident. I almost gave myself another concussion because I pushed it and I started to roll back down the hall at an uncontrollable speed.”

Lance just stared in disbelief at what he was hearing. Of all the voices and interactions, it was Keith who had managed to lift the fog around his head. He didn’t even hear the sound of the nurses boots walk away from the ramp. He really couldn’t believe it. The last time he saw him, Keith was far away in a deep sleep, not moving, with only slight breaths every tick. Lance thought he might of been having hallucinations from all the pain killers he was on.

“Man, being asleep that long must have really scrambled your head. You’re never that clumsy” he stated flatly.

“Yeah, that’s usually your thing right?”

Normally, Lance would have countered something, but he really wasn’t in the mood to do banter today. Instead, Lance frowned and bent down to try to release the brake and wheel himself away. It hurt him to look at Keith and that feeling in his stomach was starting to make its way to his ribs. It was a good reminder that everything was still fresh and healing. In more ways than one. That’s what he kept telling himself. This is why he wasn’t ready to see him. He knew he was still making excuses.

“Hey wait, Lance, I’m sorry, don’t go.”

“Oh I am not going anywhere! I was here first. I’m trying -ow- to release the brake -ow ow- so I can, ouch, release your brake, ouch, and push  _ you  _ down the ramp.”

“Lance stop, you have broken ribs.”

“Oh what does it matter Keith? We’re all just going to die soon enough. What’s staying in the hospital for another few weeks? I’d rather be stuck in here than go back out there!”

 

* * *

 

Lance’s voice echoed in the greenbelt just like they did in Keith’s coma. Lance had never been one to lose his temper. He was always cool. Keith didn’t know how to react. He was afraid he would say the wrong thing and make Lance even more angry. He was never good with his words, so he just stared back at him in silence. Keith looked at his friend mirroring the same look of worry Lance often wore around him. He hated seeing him like this. So broken, quite literally, and so fragile. If he didn’t still feel so dizzy and out of it, he might have reached out to him.

_ Baby steps,  _ he reminded himself.  _ Be patient. _

As much as he wanted to spill his guts to him about the last week and a half, he knew it would be too soon. He had to be careful with Lance. He needed to respect whatever he was going through, and let him vent. He might not have been good talking with others, but he knew he could listen to them. So he waited. He just let himself stare at Lance and Lance stared right back at him. It felt like an eternity before Lance spoke again.

“Look, I’m sorry man. I’m a ball of emotions and confusion right now. I’m not ready to talk.”

“We don’t have to talk. We could just sit here.”

 

* * *

 

Lance sighed in defeat, he turned his head back to the pitiful view and tried to slow his heart rate down. He couldn’t tell if he was excited, angry, confused, frustrated or a clusterfuck of all of them. But he did recognize one feeling out of the jumbled mess he felt surging through his body. It now made its way to his chest. Why couldn’t it just stay in one place? He tried to look past the cranes and construction and breathe in the fresh air of the greenbelt, but his mind kept traveling to other places and old memories of space. He couldn’t even zone out into a daydream because everytime he traveled to a new place, an old enemy would find their way in. He hated being a paladin. Everything always came crashing down at once. 

He gripped the railings as flashes of space monsters and old demons haunted his mind. He didn’t realize his knuckles turning white or the beads of sweat falling down his face. This was something he had to cope with. 

 

Then new memories poured into his mind, clearer, fresher ones that made the feeling in his chest jump to his throat. The times they were lost in space and he spat hurtful comments at a friend, the time he watched that same friend run into the galra work camps and how frightened he was for them, the time he heard Keith call out to him as he lay unconscious in the desert and now he felt like he was going to spill his guts at any minute. Of everything he had been through, why was the mere idea of his best friend making him want to hurl? His thoughts were bouncing back and forth rattling his mind of what he should do. Why couldn’t he just make himself relax? He was never like this, why-

_ “ Where are you? And I’m so sorry I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight...” _

The melodic tune he heard shone through the anxiety cloud floating around him like a bursting sunrise. He slowly turned to face a seemingly high-as-a-kite paladin singing the tune of a classical 90s rock anthem.  

_ “I need somebody and always, This sick strange darkness Comes creeping on so haunting every time” _

“Are you high?”

“ _ And as I stare I counted, The webs from all the spiders, Catching things and eating their insides” _

“Are you seriously singing blink 182 right now?

Keith didn’t seem to hear him though. He just kept singing out to the greenbelt, head towards the ceiling, trilling along to the tune in his head

_ “ Like indecision to call you _

_ And hear your voice of treason _

_ Will you come home and stop this pain tonight _

_ Stop this pain tonight  _

“Don’t waste your time on me you’re already the voice inside my head!”

Keith bellowed that last line throughout the greenbelt like no one was listening.

His voice was so raspy and low, it made Lance chuckle at his fair attempt to sing soft rock. There was only one other time he had ever heard Keith sing in front of other people. One time he left the lions’ intercom on and sang a made up song about the red lion. He teased Keith for days about it, but the memory of one of the more sweeter moments they all shared in space made his attack start to subside. It was weird how Keith was the one breaking the tension between them. This was usually Lance’s job. Everything was backwards but Lance didn’t really mind. This was a whole other side of Keith he was seeing. A rare opportunity indeed. He was going to relish telling the others later.

What the black paladin did next though made Lance almost stop breathing.

Keith turned his attention to Lance and softly sung the last line, with a familiar look that made Lance melt every time. It was the same look he gave Lance when he was teasing him and it slowly made the ache in his throat fizzle away.

_ “ I miss you” _

Keith’s expression said it all to Lance. He felt frozen in time as violet irises met his. They seemed lost, searching for something hidden, searching for a clue to where Lance was. He could feel heat rising to his face and he must have looked as red as his lion by now.

“Man we are really backwards. That was the cheesiest thing you have ever done.”

Keith’s face made a dramatic pout and Lance immediately regretted-

“Haha,

hahaha,

hahahah

HHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!”

Incredible. He had never heard a sound so pure and genuine leave the former red paladin’s mouth. Keith laughed and laughed until tears were streaming down his eyes. Lance couldn’t help but feel stunned and then felt a giggle fit start to crawl up his throat. They must have sat there and laughed for a good 15 minutes. Lance’s ribs were killing him but he didn’t really care. This was the first time he had laughed in a long while and it felt so good to release all the tension he had been bottling up and let them float away into oblivion.

It took them another five minutes to calm down and slow their breathing. Keith held his head from laughing so much. The lack of oxygen gave him a headache. But the warmth and joy he felt in his chest made up for the small pain he felt as he stared at the one person in the entire universe who could tease out parts of him he didn’t even knew he had. He hadn’t realized it until he had left for the blades, but Lance left a mark on him. And he was sure he had made a mark on Lance. The two were always trying to one up the other, and Keith usually blew right past him, but Lance was the only one who could keep up with him. Flying across the universe never changed that.  They always pushed each other to do better, that part of the rivalry was true. They were always by each other’s side, no matter how far they got separated. He knew Lance had the potential to be great, and he thought he’d be fine if he left. Of course this wasn’t the case and he thought he could just get up and leave and would have to deal with repercussions.

 

What he didn’t expect was that Lance would be the one to have the most impact on Keith him. He never expected to miss a person so much. He didn’t even miss earth that much! What did he have back there? A shack, some dirt, and painful memories. He had no home to go back to. He thought he could find it in space. Voltron had become his family, and the blades were like a brotherhood of long lost distant family. They were all great, and taught him so much. Still, he couldn’t find a place to belong to,a place to call him back, a place that could miss him. But then Lance was there calling him back. What he didn’t expect was for Lance to become his home. Lance was there to ground him when he was drifting away and making him grow in ways he couldn’t understand yet. He was so happy here. Here, he was home. 

 

He wanted to stay in this bubble with Lance for a little bit longer. This mutual happiness they shared, is something he wanted to relive over and over again. His coma would have been much more enjoyable if he had moments like these filled in it. If Lance was there, and they were this in sync and this playful  with each other, he’d probably still be asleep. This was real life though. A real moment he got to spend with Lance. No one could take this away from them, not even Lance if he decided to deny it all later. Keith was floating and he wasn’t about to come back down.

That’s when he remembered his vow.

He wanted more moments like this. He wanted a lifetime of this. He wasn’t going to get there if he kept deflecting. He had to say something now. He knew if he didn’t get this off his chest, he might never have another opportunity again. Everything was changing too fast. He wasn’t going to let go of Lance again.

_ No more running away. _

“L-Lance, I know you said you didn’t feel like talking, but I, uh”, his voice trailed, “ have something I need to get off my chest, and um, I’m hoping that you would just sit here and listen.”

Lance’s face flipped from playful to serious in an instant. It had always been one of the qualities that had intimidated Keith. He envied how Lance could travel between realms of goofball to sharpshooter faster than the speed of light. Despite this, he found the shift in mood to be reassuring. Lance turned his view back to the greenbelt and nodded his head in approval.

“Go ahead, it’s not like we have anywhere to be.”

Keith took a deep breath and released it towards the roof. He looked up and gulped as he tried to search for the right place to begin. He knew it would be messy. Everything in his life was a mess, but like everything in his life, he knew he’d eventually find his way through it. And at the end of this convoluted journey, he was hoping it would lead him to where he was meant to go. He was hoping the end of his journey would lead to Lance.

“So I don’t know if you heard, but I was apparently in a coma for a week or so…”

He shuddered at the memory of feeling trapped and the visions returning to him again. He pushed them away.

“And while I was there, in that place, I had a lot...visions…” he struggled with that last word.

“Like the visions you saw while you were stuck on the back of a space whale?”

“I thought you didn’t feel like talking”

“You’ve peaked my interest,”

“Sure. Well, the visions I saw on the space whale were like bursts of old memories surrounded by light. When I was in...that place...I...I kept seeing the same thing repeat over and over again. It was like a never ending nightmare.”

“Man that sounds horrible!”

“At least on the space whale, I had my mom to help me decompress what I saw, but when I was there, it was like I was trying to yell for help, but no one could hear me. I couldn’t move and I was just stuck in this alternating time realty loop.”

“Ok, first of all, that is the most frightening thing to be in.Second of all, alternate realities are not the same as time loops. They are two weird mutually exclusive space things that I’ve experienced and they are not similar at ALL. ”

“Ugh! Whatever man! It was just the same thing on repeat and it felt like I was never going to get out!!”

“Yeah, I didn’t think you would either buddy.”

That stopped Keith for a moment. He knew he hadn’t just imagined Lance during his coma and that his conscious hadn’t materialized some delusion. Lance was there. He saw him while he slept. Lance had been there!! He had visited him, when he was sleeping! But he never came to visit him when he woke.

All this time he had wondered, why? Why had everyone come to see him except Lance? Why out of everyone, had they visited him except his right hand man? Why? He felt so hurt for all those days. Didn’t he care? Could he not move? What excuse could me have made? He was right  _ next door _ ! As much as he didn't want to admit it, Lance was the only person he wanted to see. Now, there was suddenly this wall around him. It hadn’t been there before, so why was it up now?

Pidge had told him about Lance’s broken bones, and Hunk had told him about Lance’s hurt hand. He even let Allura gush to him about the card and flowers Lance had brought her!! And although the sight of her blushing and smiling made his insides twist and turn and make him think back to  _ that one memory again _ , he noticed how worried she was about Lance. She told him Lance seemed closed off and more distant than usual. Lance had made walls for himself, to protect himself, to heal himself. But from what? Was it from him?!

That was fair.

He  **had** left him and abandoned the team. The memory of Lance’s visit in the astral plane struck his mind. The time he told him Keith left him there to pick up all the pieces. It broke his heart to know he hurt him in that way. As a person trapped within the walls of his own mind and heart, Keith understood where Lance was coming from perfectly. They were the same in that respect. Two abandoned star crossed beings, polar opposite in element yet so similar in nature. Yes, of course they were the same. That's how they worked. They balanced each other's insecurities and tendencies and fears no matter what obstacle the other was facing. They were each other's anchor. But there was one real difference between them that could make the whole thing tank. Keith didn’t know how to break down Lance’s walls. They were all new territory for him. Lance knew exactly how to break down Keith’s walls. All he ever had to do was knock. Keith was sure he would have to do more than just knock.  

“You know, there was a time I remember from then, where I was floating in pool of the astral plane, waiting for Shiro to try and kill me-”

“señor ten piedad”

“-and I just laid there for the umpteenth time, about to give up, when I heard something calling out for me..."

"-I couldn’t tell who it was at first," Keith continued, and Lance could feel his hands become clammy.

_ Please don't say it. _

"Then there you were."

_ No I wasn't.  _

"Shining like a blue star..."

_ You're delusional. _

"Talking about Beyonce…”

 

_ Quiznak. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you all believe me if I told you this was supposed to be like a one shot? Like a really short one shot. 
> 
> Haha come join me in my dissent into voltron hell 
> 
> down we go!


	4. Visions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith Talks about the Visions he saw with Lance

 

 _Quiznak_.

 

This was possibly the worst situation Lance had ever found himself in. Lover boy Lance getting caught? The smoothe heartbreaker was now transformed into a fumbling mess. What reality was he trapped in? Nothing could compare to the sheer embarrassment he felt burning from his face down his neck. NOTHING in the ENTIRE universe could compare to THIS. Not even the time when he lost the blue lion to the alien rebel goddess Nyma and Keith had to come and untie him. Why was he still thinking about Keith? UGH! This WAS the worst moment of his life.

 

 _He can hear you_ …

 

The words rung in his head like a never ending bell.

 

_And here I thought those were supposed to be comforting words._

 

“They said you were in a deep sleep, healing yourself,” Lance spoke again, he had to say something to cut the tension. He needed to burn the conversation out.

 

“The doctors recommended I go and talk to you. They thought, really I thought, if I said enough annoying things at you, you would get so frustrated and wake up from your coma just to get me to shut up.”

 

_Yeah, maybe that’ll piss him off and make him forget-_

 

“That’s...a funny theory” Keith scoffed, “Actually, most of the time I could only hear voices in waves. It all sounded muffled and unclear.”

 

 _Oh thank Blue!_ He was really sweating it there. Maybe he hadn’t heard everything he said that day.

 

“Yeah I remember you talking about some random things like Beyonce, calling yourself dumb, asking about Kosmo, and some other stuff.”

 

_He said it was all muffled, how could he have heard ALL of that?!?_

 

“This is oddly specific for being murmured whispers in your head.”

 

“They were more like echoes actually.”

 

“Whatever man, what’s your point?”

 

Lance was getting frustrated now. The feeling he thought had floated away was aflame in his whole body and made him become stiff and nauseous again.

 

_Body will you knock it off!_

 

Keith paused and looked away briefly. The blue paladin noticed the quick movement and turned his attention to find what Keith was staring at. There wasn’t much to see in the greenbelt, just the cranes, the plants, and the garrison. Perhaps it was something beyond what he could see.

 

“In the astral plane, when you showed up” Keith began, “that’s when all the visions finally stopped,” and he closed his eyes briefly, “All I could hear was your voice. All I could see was you.”

 

Now normally, if this was a romantic moment in a movie or a novel, the love interest would have felt a surge of warmth fill them and the sun would set and there would be soft purple lighting and they would smile and confess their love for each other and live happily ever after.

 

But this was not the case for Lance.

 

He didn’t feel the beautiful warmth or happiness bursting in him like fireworks or feel the mood shift like seeing burning candles in a dim lit room. No, instead the feeling just dropped to the pit of his stomach and his heart missing a beat. Any ounce of courage he might have felt before, now floated away like a haze of smoke. He wasn’t ready to accept this yet. Despite garnering some vague interest in what Keith had to say early on, he now knew he wasn’t ready to talk. And after this revelation, he wasn’t sure he even wanted to hear to what Keith had to say next.

 

All the things he spoke about came back to him crackling and popping one after the other like an open flame. It was bad enough that he had actually heard what he what he was rambling about. Now he was telling him he had actually seen him? Lance materialized in his coma? _HIM_ . THE _GOOFBALL_. This was bull shit. Why was he lying to him?

 

“That’s crazy Keith, how could you have seen me in your comma?”

 

“Look man, I know it sounds crazy, but I know what I saw!”

 

“You _think_ you saw me. It was just your brain’s way of coping with it.”

 

“Lance, please-”

 

“No, no, nonononono. You were dreaming. You were in a coma and you were high off your head on all kinds of medication,” Lance continued to protest. He just wanted Keith to let this silly idea fizzle out.

 

“Lance just let me finish what I’m trying to say.”

 

“I don’t have to!”, Lance shouted as he could feel his ears heating up, “I can keep talking so much that you never get to say whatever you’re trying to say! Don’t test me Mullet!” he threatened, “I annoyed you out of the coma, I can just as easily annoy you out of this greenbelt!!”

 

Keith slammed his fist against the armrest and snapped his head back at Lance.

 

“For fucksake, Lance YOU GUIDED ME OUT!”

 

Keith was fuming. He had never been this angry at Lance, _never_.

 

He saw Keith reach for the orange button and turned himself around to face Lance. Oh he had really done it now! If they weren't both in wheelchairs and injured, he was sure Keith would have tried to kill him. The former red paladins face scrunched and he furrowed his eyebrows furiously at Lance. His face turned colors and Keith seemed to be clenching his jaw in frustration at him. Lance could have sworn he saw some fangs form in his mouth. Keith was so red in the cheeks, Lance wasn’t sure if Keith was red from anger or red from something else-

 

Then Keith paused for a bit and took another deep breath before speaking again. Lance looked away, trying to find what Keith had been staring at originally. He was hoping searching for it would take him away from this uncomfortable conversation.

 

“Do you know what else I saw while I was in there?”

 

“No”

 

Lance kept focusing on the construction cranes, refusing to look Keith in the eye.

 

“There were other visions I saw, memories really. The times when we were all still back at the castle.”

 

Lance peaked away from his view, interest ignited again. Keith wasn’t going to let this go.

 

“I was really confused. Once you stopped talking, all those old memories came flooding in and they seemed to drown out the others that had been haunting me,” and Keith squinted his eyes as if he was trying to understand something, “But you, you couldn’t hear me when I tried talking to you. It was like I was just talking to the ghost of you,”

 

And then he looked like he was tearing up.

 

“It was the most lonely I had ever felt while I was there.”

 

Lance gulped and snapped his eyes back to the greenbelt. He could feel beads of sweat rolling down his face, and his eyes felt like they were on fire.

 

_Stupid desert dust._

 

So he had missed him. After all this time, Lance thought he was the only one who felt like a meteorite had crashed into him and left a void in heart when they separated. Apparently Keith had the same crater in him too.

 

Keith had missed him so much that he dreamed him while he was asleep. He had missed him so much, that his consciousness made a version of Lance appear in his coma while he visited him. He had missed him so much that the thought of talking to ghosts of Lance made him sad. Lance didn’t know how to process any of this. It was all too much.

 

“There was one vision though that was out of place,” Keith continued, eyes now dark and slightly angered, “I thought I saw Allura kissing a tall lanky man at the Garrison loading docks.”

 

The mere mention of their Princess being sweet with another person made Lance snap his head back to Keith’s view instantly. Out of all the crazy things Keith was telling him, this one took the cake. How could his brain have materialized that nonsense? He was sure he was mental now.

 

“Well that doesn’t make any sense!” Lance protested, “Allura and Lotor kissed and although that was a huge blow to my ego, that happened before you came back when we still had the castle of lions. How could you have seen that?”

 

Keith crossed his arms and sunk into his chair.

 

“You know how while I was in the quantum abyss, my mom and I saw visions of the past?,” Keith asked softly, “We also saw visions of the future too.”

 

That didn’t really answer him, but Lance was definitely invested now. When Keith came back and brought back Kosmo, another Altean (Romelle) AND his long lost mom it was unbelievable. Straight out of the quiznaking movies. Yet they were there, fighting the galra, part of the coalition and now integrated into the family. And after wrapping his head around all of this, Keith was telling him he saw the future when he was on the space whale?! Keith didn’t have the imagination to make this stuff up. The time he spent on the space whale did more than make him grizzled, it had also apparently dissipated his brain...

 

“Shut up.”

 

“No really! I didn’t believe it either,” Keith shouted eyes widening, “But then I saw a vision of Shiro and him being a clone and attacking me”

 

“And we all know how that turned out” Lance mumbled.

 

The shadow of the painful memory seemed to make Keith shrink lower. Lance could tell he was opening up old wounds, but Keith seemed to push it aside and recovered quickly.

 

“The thing is,” he said, “I can only see future visions if they are going to happen to me or I’m going to eventually see them. If what you’re telling me already happened, as gross as that memory sounds, I couldn’t have seen Allura kissing Lotor at the Garrison, especially if I was elsewhere...”

 

“So then who did you see her swapping spit with?”

 

“I think it was you.”

 

That took Lance by surprise and he was pretty sure there was a wash of pink on his skin from how awkward he felt. Him and Allura, _kissing_? No way! Maybe in his dreams. He wasn’t afraid to admit past dreams making out with the Princess after an awesome battle. Sometimes it varied from one person to another, but like 85% of the time it was with Allura! Back to what Keith was saying, if this was a future moment to come, he wondered what could have lead them to that point. Did Allura finally return his affection? Was it the flowers or his amazing card? This was gonna bug him for a while.

 

This thought vanished just as quickly as it came though, for a new question occupied his mind the minute he focused his view back to Keith. Why did _Keith_ see something like that? And why did he seem so upset from it? This could only mean that Keith would have been following him and Allura and actively watching them. But why? Keith’s answer had produced more questions.

 

“You know Keith, Buddy, I think you’re still a little rattled from your coma. The Princess doesn’t feel that way about me…” Lance laughed despondently, “that couldn’t have been me”

 

“I’m not saying she does or she doesn’t, I really don’t know what I saw. I tried to look away when that one came along, but I couldn’t. Every time I tried to close my eyes, I couldn’t because...well you know...deep sleep.”

 

There was another long pause before Keith unraveled his arms and grabbed the sides of his chair. He looked down briefly at the terrazzo floor before catching Lance’s eyes again.

 

“Do you still like Allura?”

 

“Uh, well…”

 

Lance hadn’t really thought about that in a while. The beautiful cosmic princess fell into his arms the day they had reached the castle of lions, and Lance had been falling for her ever since. He never really took it serious, a small crush wasn’t supposed to thrive under their circumstances. He felt this to be true until he found himself feeling so lonely and misunderstood, like something was missing in his life. He thought love would be the key to fill it.

 

And then Allura and Lotor happened and he wasn’t really sure how he felt about love anymore. He told himself he was going to stick to being a paladin, the sharpshooter, the ninja assassin lurking in the shadows. That’s what Keith always told him to do. It was better to think this way then to think about how empty he felt. He looked towards bandaged bedhead who was still waiting for an answer, and although Lance didn’t know what to think anymore, he wanted to be honest with Keith. So he spoke from the only place he could, his heart.

 

“I-I still think she is the most beautiful _woman_ I’ve ever seen in my life,” he stammered, “She’s courageous and brave and she makes me want to be a better person...but-”, and Lance stopped.

 

The unnerving memory of Allura crying into his shoulders entered his mind. He had always imagined Allura coming to him for comfort, just not for that reason. He remembered feeling so defeated and sad, like the last remnants of hope were burning out. It pained him to think Allura and Lotor had happened, but it broke his heart more to see Allura that broken and betrayed . Despite this, Lance knew they were at a better place from when they first met each other. Their friendship flourished after Keith went off with the Blades and he felt like Allura was the best friend he could have out in space. He always thought she was beautiful, but as he got to know her more, he gained a respect and admiration for her, like a devoted knight does for his queen. This was supposed to be the natural progression of things. He thought his crush would smolder into love and he would be the champion for the Princess, like he always dreamed he would be. He had never felt all these feeling surge in him for another person like they did for Allura. He had become so hyper fixated on the Princess with his affections, and he was happy he was able to finally understand what he was feeling. Even then, he felt something was still missing.

 

“I honestly don’t know man.”

 

And he didn’t! When did they ever have time to talk about romance and stuff like that? They were at war! When they did have those small breaks of time, it was mostly unrequited silent glances, a laugh here, a slight brush of the shoulder there, but nothing was going anywhere. They weren’t frozen like Keith and him, they were going in opposite directions, but somehow still felt each other pulling towards the other. He was sure the Princess would have said something by now, after all this time. Hadn’t she made up her mind yet? She should have known by now how Lance truly felt, especially since he had confessed to the mice! Why did he let his love life rest in the hands of space mice?

 

“Don’t worry, I’m just as confused as you with all these feelings.” Keith interrupted Lance’s thoughts as he crossed his arms again and looked down towards his lap.

 

What did _that_ mean? Did he also have feelings for Allura? He had never even showed interest in her! What the hell was Keith talking about?

 

“Well, after that”, Keith changed the subject, “I remember trying to stab myself so I could wake up. I honestly couldn’t make myself see that again. I gave up after that point,” and then Keith grabbed his arms and squeezed them as if to comfort himself, “but then I felt a hand stop me.”

 

Keith looked right at Lance. Eyes intense, locked and unwavering. Keith wasn’t searching anymore. He was talking directly at Lance, looking right into his soul. Maybe not, but it sure did feel like it.

 

“It was your hand that stopped mine.”

 

Lance was sure he wasn’t breathing now. He felt frozen in time as warm violet eyes asked a burning question Lance was not ready to answer. And the light at the end of their journey seemed to be farther away now as Lance contemplated what this last part of the dream could mean. This was one fucked up coma Keith was stuck in.

 

“And after that, you, you told me to follow you, and then,” Keith looked away like a shy boy confessing something, “ then I woke up.”

 

No fucking way. He guided Keith out of his coma? You couldn’t make that shit up. The nurse wasn’t lying to him after all. He was the reason he was alive today. Guess he _did_ actually annoy him to wake up. What the hell man?

 

He must have said the last thought out loud again.

 

“You didn’t annoy me out of the comma, god, your voice was the thing that kept me sane-” Keith turned bright red now. He fumbled with his words and tried to collect himself again. Lance wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

 

“Look, when I saw you there, you said some things that frustrated me. I couldn’t believe what you were saying half the time” Keith threw up his hands in a dramatical fashion, “You kept apologizing for things that weren’t your fault and you looked so sad and worried and angry and hurt, and I just-”

 

Keith fists shook and he looked down at his lap, not wanting to face the blue paladin. Lance didn’t want to face him either and fumbled with the chair to try and find the orange button again.

 

“I need to tell you that you have every right to still be mad at me.”

 

Lance looked down and gripped the sides of the chair. He couldn’t feel his face anymore and he could feel his stomach doing somersaults and his head was getting dizzy. He couldn’t process everything that was being told to him. After everything Keith heard, he still felt the need to tell Lance it was ok to feel what he felt. This was coming from the same guy who just told him to focus on the mission and leave the math to Pidge. This was a whole 180 and nothing was adding up anymore. What happened to passionate, hot-headed Keith?

 

He felt like his heart was going to burst at any moment.

 

“What are you talking about Keith?” Lance’s voice cracked at that last syllable.

 

Then Keith took another deep breath. Lance could tell he was struggling and he wondered if this conversation was just as hard for Keith as it was for him.

 

“I know I left you and the team. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing, but I didn’t realize the consequences and how everything would come crashing down on you. I didn’t know how much I had hurt you,” and the paladin looked down in shame as if he was releasing a huge burden he had been carrying.

 

“Hey man,” Lance said, “you don’t have to-”

 

“No Lance just let me say this.”

 

“Ok”

 

“You are so much more than you think you are. You are the person I admire the most, you, you’re the glue,” and Keith started to raise his head, “You keep everyone together. You’re so much more than the right hand man of voltron or whatever color paladin, and I should have told you this a long time ago, but, I was scared and now I realized you are-”

 

Keith was now grabbing the sides of his chair as he tried to materialize the right words to say.

 

“I’m what?”

 

Lance’s heart was racing. He wasn’t sure what he expected to hear. Keith was never this emotional with anyone.

 

“Lance you’re who I want to be with.”

* * *

 

 

The words had left Keith’s mouth faster than the red lion flying through an asteroid field. At first he couldn’t believe he had just poured his heart out in front of his best friend. He couldn’t even imagine what was running through those beautiful wide blue eyes as they stared back at him. Lance looked like he was speechless. At least for a brief moment,

 

“Keith Kogane, you son of bitch, how could you say that?”

 

That was **not** the reaction Keith was hoping for... He thought maybe Lance would have gone for the classic tease or even laugh at him. But Lance was angry at him. They really were out of sync with each other.

 

“I’m...sorry?”

 

“You, YOU, uggghhh!!! WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT?!”

 

“What?”

 

“You think yy-y-ou, you,” Lance couldn’t even make himself say it, “and m-m-me?” and his face lit up in red, “No, no, no, your head’s still messed up. You imprinted on me or something weird like that and now you THINK you, you-”

 

Lance’s eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets. Keith could see the veins popping out of his neck as the flustered paladin dared not speak the forbidden word.

 

“What Lance?!” Keith shouted back, “What do you think I’m trying to say? That I ‘think’ I like you? I don’t think I like you, I **know** I do!!” Keith blushed slightly at the shouting confession before remembering why he was angry, “Why is that so hard for you to wrap your head around?”

 

“I like to think this is like the time you couldn’t wrap your head around a simple chant. Same energy.”

 

If Keith wasn’t so angry he probably would’ve started laughing at that counter.

 

“LANCE!” Keith shouted, with a slight giggle at the tail end. He hated that Lance could ease the tension in any environment. Especially this one. Everything about this situation was giving Keith a headache, “Weren’t you listening to a word I said?”

 

“Nope, nope didn’t hear a word.” and Lance fidgeted and spazzed as he lifted his arms behind his head and looked away. Keith could’ve sworn he saw the cool facade Lance often wore fade out into a blushing, bashful smile. What if this is exactly thow things were supposed to play out?

 

“Keith,” Lance spoke again, refusing to let the silence drown them, “look, I…”

 

“You don’t have to say you like me back Lance,” Keith interrupted, “I know you and Allura have a pretty strong bond, but I just needed to get this off my chest,” and he felt a pain swell in his chest, “I couldn’t bare to keep it inside anymore.”

 

There.

 

He said it.

 

Now the pain he felt was supposed to fizzle away.

 

But it was blazing in his chest, refusing to deter. It was making him anxious.

 

That and waiting for Lance to respond.

 

“Time out,” Lance finally spoke, “just, I need a minute”

 

Keith could feel himself getting dizzy again. All his emotions slapped him like a cold chopping wave. He was angry, frustrated, hurt, relieved, tense, and slightly euphoric, but it was all hitting him at once and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself.

 

Lance always seemed so sure of himself in things like this, but now he was acting so weird and distant. Was it because it was him? Was he wrong to believe Lance could actually return the same feelings for him? Keith? The rebellious, tempered, lone wolf that abandoned him so he could go figure his shit out. This asshole? How could have he been so naive?

 

Suddenly it was like he was back in the astral plane, talking to the ghost of Lance. All those times of laughter, teasing, and bonding didn’t seem to matter anymore. Any hope that he had for the outcome of this conversation was receding away. He wanted to curl up in a ball and never come out. He had just laid it all on the table, and Lance was-

 

“Hey man,”

 

Keith’s heart stopped.

 

Those were the anchoring words that got him through everything. Only this time, he was terrified of what Lance was going to say next.

 

“Keith, I, I don’t know how to say this,” he began and Keith could feel himself retreating to the depths...

 

“Everything is such a mess now,”

 

Keith was going to let himself drown and never come up.

 

“I...”

 

“Just say it already,” he pleaded, “I’m sorry I even said it.”

 

He didn’t want to get his hopes up anymore. Lance couldn’t give him a straight answer and it was killing him with every passing tick. He thought if he could just say everything, they would finally stop running away from each other. But he was wrong. They were always going to orbit around each other with this tension. They were always going to be stuck. Was gravity ever going to pull them towards each other?

 

Or thrust them apart?

 

“HEy!” Lance shouted. The sound of Lance angry made Keith gasp. Lance’s blood was boiling like Keith had just insulted his entire existence. Why was he getting so worked up?

 

“Don’t you start this again. Don’t you run away again,” and tears started to fall from azure eyes, “I can’t lose you for a third time!”, the same pained eyes again. He had hurt Lance, again.

 

“I don’t know what’s going on with you!” Lance threw his hands up and finally seemed to find the orange button to turn his body to Keith’s.

 

“First you start to open up, then you leave, then you come back and now, now..”

 

And Lance seemed pained at the next phrase that left his mouth.

 

“Keith I don’t know how to feel about you.”

 

Ouch.

 

Why couldn’t he have kept his feelings for Lance hidden in the depths like a normal infatuation? Keith could feel himself start to become numb. Why did he have to let his walls down? Why couldn’t he just push these feelings away like he had always done before?

 

“Keith, I care about you so much, you’re my best friend…”

 

Just like that he felt a warmth return to him. He looked at Lance straight in the eyes as if to tell him everything he was feeling. Maybe they could speak louder and clearer than he ever could.

 

“But how do I know you aren’t going to run away if I say yes or to shut me out if I say no?

 

_I can’t._

 

“How can you guarantee that this, whatever this is, will work?

 

_I don’t know, but I want to try._

 

“We can’t stand each other half the time!

 

_That’s not true. You know we’re a great team._

 

“Why would you want to be with someone like me? I’m not-”

 

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Keith growled. Was he not speaking the right language? If words couldn’t reach Lance, then actions, had to.

 

Keith gave himself whiplash as he crashed the wheelchairs together. He grabbed Lance’s cheeks in his palms, looked him in the eyes and said,

 

“Lance, you’re who I always want by my side, and I always want to be at your side, if that’s what you want.” Keith said, “Did you not hear what I said?”

 

Lance’s eyes were spilling tears like a waterfall and Keith remained there whipping each of them away. Lance closed his eyes and breathed a sob before he placed a hand on Keith’s and smiling softly. He let out a bubbling giggle and his eyes twinkled brighter than the blue star in his dreams. A soft smile, the one Keith loved so much, spread across his face like a rainbow after a long storm and Keith could feel his cold exterior melting to be consumed into open flame. Lance leaned forward and Keith could feel his face glowing red, anticipating, before their foreheads met and they sighed together in a blissful moment.

 

“Keith, I can hear you, loud and clear.”

 

Finally, Keith had found the right words to break through every wall Lance had placed around his heart. Tears streamed down his eyes and he swore he heard a small hum escape his mouth. They were not orbiting planets anymore, they were crashing galaxies, bursting with energy and chaos and life. No longer running, no more excuses, and no more voids. They had found each other after being lost in the universe for so long. Nothing could stand in their way because even if they found themselves separated again, they knew they could find their way back to each other. All they had to do was call out to each other, for no matter what prayer one sent out into deep space the other knew one thing. _He can hear you._

 

_END._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this! I hope you enjoyed this short little story!


End file.
